80b-Serrapede Family in America: The Three Year Plan, 1947-1950 Part 2

Introduction

Emily Serrapede and Frank J. Terry* were engaged after she graduated high school in January of 1948.  When they first met in 1947 or thereabouts, they knew after going steady for a few months that they wanted to get married.  After Frank gave Emily a Friendship Ring in 1947 they began what they called “The Three Year Plan”.  The Plan consisted of achieving a series of goals along each phase of planning not only for the wedding, but the first year of married life.  Included in this were all financial considerations for the honeymoon, the furniture, linens, house wares and deposit and security for an apartment.

Emily and Frank’s wedding ceremony took place in Our Lady of Guadalupe Church Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.  In the Catholic church it is customary for the wedding ceremony to take place in the church to which the bride belongs.  In this wedding, however, the ceremony took place in the parish to which Frank’s family was registered.  Whenever Frank and Emily shared their memories of the Three Year Plan they never went into much detail about the church or why they chose Our Lady of Guadalupe.  Emily made mention of her own parish in passing but never detailed why she was not married at St. Rosalia.

When we received the Marriage Certificate in the mail it was the first time we learned the name of the church.  Previously Emily had related the setting of the ceremony as “the church near Blanche and Al’s house.”  In this posting we share what we learned about Our Lady of Guadalupe and what we think were some considerations that factored into the choice of this church.  We also discussed what might have contributed to the stark contrast in the attitudes towards the parish churches to which Emily’s and Frank’s families belonged.

Relationship Notes

Emily L. Serrapede was the daughter of Sam and Josie (nee Muro) Serrapede.  She was born in 1931 and grew-up in the Italian-American community of Dyker Heights.  The Serrapede family lived on 66^th Street between 11^th and 12^th Avenues and were members of the parish of St. Rosalia’s Roman Catholic Church.  St. Rosalia’s was located at the corner of 63^rd Street and 14^th Avenue. 

Frank Jesse Terry*, the son of Al and Blanche Terry, was born in 1927.  He lived with his sister, two brothers and parents in a two family home on 14^th Avenue in a part of Dyker Heights bordering on Bensonhurst.  Frank served our country stateside during WWII.  His family were members of the parish of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church located on the corner of 72^nd Street and 15^th Avenue. 

*See Note before Resources section.

Our Lady of Guadalupe Church:  An Overview

The parish history at website of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church (see Resources section for link) is quite brief.  From it we learned that

the original church was a frame structure built in 1906.  As the years passed a convent and 2 school buildings followed but all were destroyed by a fire in 1933.

The church was rebuilt after this fire with an interior done in a Neo-Italianate style.  Another fire in 1973 consumed most of that 1930s interior.  The church was rebuilt again.  The church rebuilt in 1973 is still existant today.  The 1930s outer structure remains in place but the stained glass windows, pipe organ and interior date from 1973 onwards. 

To learn a little more about the developments in the parish after the fire of New Year’s Eve 1931, Uncle Sammy and I reviewed and discussed the news coverage about it in The Brooklyn Daily Eagle.

80a-Serrapede Family in America-The Three Year Plan, Part 1 (1947-1950)

Introduction

On Monday, April 28^th, 1947, advice columnist Helen Worth of The Brooklyn Daily Eagle answered some questions a reader submitted in regards to her forthcoming wedding.  Helen explained that it was still customary for the bride’s parent’s to pay for the wedding.  She answered a few other questions and then urged the bride-to-be to purchase a copy of Emily Post’s etiquette book to help guide her in matters such as the ones she questioned Helen about. 

Emily and Frank avoided the rush to the altar that was overtaking other couples after the end of WWII. Before getting wrapped up in such matters as wedding etiquette and needing anybody’s advice about seating for the church service, they decided to approach their wedding planning differently.   They started planning their wedding in stages, shortly after Frank gave Emily a Friendship Ring during the latter part of her Junior Year or early in her Senior Year at Bay Ridge High School.  Emily and Frank often shared with EmilyAnn bits and pieces of what they called their “Three Year Plan” prior to their wedding day.  They told her that thanks to this approach they were able to allocate their time and money towards their wedding in a way that did not cause other parts of their life to become unbalanced.  They also sought out advice from their parents, relatives and the professionals who would be part of the wedding service and reception.  By working together and making decisions in a step-by-step process Emily and Frank said they got insights into how married life could be when husband and wife worked together on the decision making process. 

None of the advice columns that we reviewed for the period 1947-1950 offered good, solid advice to engaged couples about the severe housing crisis at the end of WWII.  Frank and Emily did not mention this event in any retelling of the lead up to their wedding but after learning about the scope of the problem we came to the conclusion this was another factor that the Three Year Plan took into consideration.  Frank and Emily had a very firm vision of where they wanted to live and the quality of life they anticipated after marriage.  They maintained an independent approach to living and thought things through.  Emily preferred, and Frank agreed, that they should make decisions that worked for them and avoid being unduly influenced by the popular trends of the time.  This put them at odds with their peers.  Emily’s insistence, though, that they stay focused on the long term goals helped her and Frank wait through this difficult time and obtain all the goals they set out during those three years.  Knowing how well read and conversant Sam and Josie were on current events, we think they encouraged Emily to wait it out.  Blanche and Al, too, would not have wanted Frank and Emily to experience undue hardships such as others were going through at this time and would have told them to wait the first wave of housing scarcity out.

Relationship Notes

Emily L. Serrapede was a second generation Italian-American.  She was the daughter of Sam and Josie Serrapede and the sister of Junior (Sammy).  Emily was born in 1931 and grew up in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn.  She graduated from Bay Ridge High School in January 1948 and went to work as a legal secretary for the law Firm of Charles Marion Graham.

Frank J. Terry* was born in 1927 to Al and Blanche Terry.  He served our country stateside in Texas while in the Navy from 1945 to 1947.  Upon returning to Brooklyn he met Emily through mutual friends.  Frank worked at the same importing company with his father and lived about ½ mile from where Emily lived in Dyker Heights.

*See Note before Resources section.

Family Story:  The Three Year Plan, Part 1

Emily liked to tell EmilyAnn that the old saying, “Marry in haste, repent in leisure” had some truth in it.  The rush of emotions that comes attached with being engaged and planning a new life as a couple can cloud one’s mind and ability to see the future spouse as they really are.  For Emily, the time spent in planning the wedding was the best way to see how she and Frank got along when it came time to make important decisions.  It also was to be a time in which she got better insights into his family.

Frank often told EmilyAnn that teenage brides may be beautiful and the stuff of the highly romantic Harlequin novels she read while in her early teens but there was no way a girl right out of high school without any experience of earning a salary, keeping a house and a firm understanding of financial considerations would be up to the demands that quickly set in once the honeymoon was over.  Sure, the movies made it seem like every GI returning home married his sweetheart right away but that wasn’t the case for everyone.