86e-Emily Leatrice 1953-1955-The lifestyle of one real 1950s housewife, Part 5-The Dress Code

Series Note

This posting is Part 5 of “The Lifestyle of one real 1950s housewife” based on memories and family stories my late Mom and Grandmothers shared with me when I was growing up. 

Introduction

In this posting Uncle Sammy and I present many memories my Mother shared with me about her fashion interests before she became a mother.  We then try to understand some of the contributing factors to her inability to get back-on-track with all matters of dressing and grooming during the postpartum phase she called “the baby blues”.  This was a period of roughly 6 months after my birth during which she had highs and lows before settling into what she called the new reality of being a mother.  She called it a new reality rather than saying she resumed her everyday life.  Everything had changed in the subtlest of ways:  although Mom looked the same there were changes in her way of looking at things that led to increased questioning and seeking new directions rather than resume reliance on established patterns of behavior that were not in harmony with her own needs.

Using news coverage from the time period late 1953 to mid-1954 we try to find clues that lead to an understanding of the reluctance Emily had towards resuming the expected mode of attire which was expected of a young wife and mother who wanted to be accepted by her community in good standing.  By analyzing some of the clues and putting them into the context of the community where Emily lived, and where we grew up, we get a better understanding of why Emily no longer found some of the trappings of traditional femininity and attire as alluring and beautiful as she did in prior years. 

Relationship Notes

Emily Leatrice was 22 years old in 1953 when she gave birth to her daughter, EmilyAnn.  She was married 3 years to Frank Jesse Terry*. Emily Leatrice had a responsive support network consisting of her husband, mother, mother-in-law and sister-in-law which helped her get through the lows of her post-pregnancy period.  

Josie Muro Serrapede was Emily’s mother.  She was married to Sam Serrapede for 23 years when EmilyAnn was born. Josie was a very observant and practical woman.  She had returned to the workforce full-time at this point in the family history and was raising Junior (a/k/a Sammy).  She also had to cater to her husband Sam’s expectations of a beautiful, clean and orderly home plus home cooked meals every night.  For Josie, the important part of fulfilling her role in the larger family was to keep harmony among the relatives.  It was important to speak honestly but to do so with tact and sensitivity. 

Blanche Flashenberg Terry* was Franks’s mother.  She was born in 1905 to Orthodox Jewish immigrants from Galicia.  Her mother Tillie Rosenbaum Flashenberg was a very ambitious woman who ran a boarding house for 10-15 years and kept a Kosher household.  When Blanche married out to the son of Sicilian immigrants, her family disowned her.  Blanche brought her Orthodox faith into her marriage although she raised her children in her husband’s religion.  She had two refrigerators, one for dairy and the other for meat and two kitchens, one on the first floor and another in the basement.  In all matters of dress, etiquette and decorum she was very proper.  For Blanche a woman’s moral character was expressed by not just her dress but her speech, movements and treatment of other people.  She believed that the more a woman covered up, the better her chances were to be taken seriously, to be respected and to capture a prospective husband’s imagination.  Blanche was always preoccupied with maintaining a good reputation to such an extent that she remained courteous even to the neighbors who rejected her and her children because she retained her Jewish faith.

Family Story:  The Sun on my face, the wind in my hair

Emily looked at the seamed nylons that had been tossed into the dresser drawer.  This drawer contained stockings that were no longer a pair:  the other stocking had been discarded after becoming too snagged or getting a run in a conspicuous place.  Since Emily bought stockings in the same shades she preferred each season this reserve always came in handy when a new pair eventually had one of the stockings no longer useable. This was not the case on this Spring day, however.  The stockings in the drawer were all in shades of flesh tone, light taupe or grey—all Winter colors.  There was no match for the light sand colored seamed stocking that just had its’ mate discarded because of a run from the toe to the mid-calf.  Emily thought that if she had put some clear nail polish on the run earlier this might have been avoided.  What was she to do now?

It was the kind of Spring morning when there is a calling to come outdoors. The sky was clear and there was a breeze filling the clothes hung on the lines in the back of the row houses. The curtains in the upstairs rooms were billowing in the breeze, too, since Emily had opened the windows to give the house an airing.  Her thoughts went back to the clothes she had laid out the night before on the chair by the bed:  bra, girdle, full slip, skirt, blouse, cardigan, beret hat.  On the dresser was a fancy hat pin she planned to wear with the beret.  Yes, today was the day she had planned to get dressed-up for a walk to the mini-mansions of Dyker Heights with EmilyAnn in her baby carriage.

Father’s Day 2023

Father’s Day, June 18, 2023

In honor of our fathers, grandfathers, uncles, godfathers and great-grandfathers.

With thanksgiving and many happy, loving memories.

–Sam Serrapede, Jr. and EmilyAnn Frances May

86d-Emily Leatrice 1953-1955-The real life of one 1950s Housewife, Part 4

Series Note

This posting is part 4 of “The Lifestyle of one real 1950s housewife” based on memories and family stories my late Mom and Grandmothers shared with me when I was growing up. 

To understand how beautiful the tree lined streets where the mini-mansions of Dyker Heights are still located, you may find this previous posting about the history and planning of Dyker Heights to be helpful:

82e1-Dyker Heights in the 1920s:  From a farming to residential community

Introduction

As the Spring of 1954 began, Emily was still in a post-partum slump which she called the “Baby Blues”.  This was by no means a serious case of Post-Partum Depression but more a restlessness and feeling that alternated between wanting to resume a wide range of activities and a desire to keep a distance from the watchful neighbors of the row houses where Emily, Frank and baby EmilyAnn lived.  They were friendly and wanted to know what a new family was like since the children, due to the close proximity of the houses, tended to play together during their hours outside.  Often the children went from one stoop to the next while playing their games.  Some children made it a point to visit every stoop in the row even if the children of the house were playing elsewhere.  The children displayed no hesitation and asked what a neighbor was doing as a way of initiating a brief exchange that included a “How are you today?”. 

Emily had become very sensitized to matters of appearance, image and putting forth an impression of middle-class well-being through Blanche, her Mother-in-Law.  The house that Emily and Frank moved into was still not fully furnished because they gave more priority to saving for the purchase of a car than buying furniture they did not need yet, specifically a dining room set and a fancy kitchen table and chairs.  What would become the dining room in a few years was planned as EmilyAnn’s playroom for now. 

The neighbor’s children usually played in the finished basement of their house whenever they brought friends inside.  In this way the upstairs rooms and the bedrooms on the second floor were kept neat for any visitors.  A house that was clean and in good order was the mark of a proficient housewife.  Emily and Frank again were off the main direction that their peers on the block took.  For them a house meant living in and a home was to be enjoyed.  It was not a place to display acquisitions for the enjoyment of other people.  A basement was too far off for parents to keep an eye on the children and often in the row it was a damp place.  Since the oil burner, washing machine and a small storage room under the sunporch were also located in the basement it was not what Emily considered a suitable place for play, at least in the condition the basement was in at her house.

Most of the housewives took their children out for an airing in the afternoons while they went shopping along 13th Avenue, the main shopping venue.  What Emily felt like avoiding were the chance encounters that resulted in small talk and the unexpected company of a neighbor and her baby in the carriage.  As an introvert, Emily needed quiet time apart from too much small talk and socializing.  After giving birth the ongoing visits from relatives added to her sense of exhaustion.

During a visit one Sunday at her parent’s apartment, Emily’s mother Josie asked her why she wasn’t going out into the sunshine more now that Spring was coming.  Emily gave many excuses about not having a baby carriage that compared to the ones the mothers on the block had.  Emily felt somehow a baby not in an English Coach-type carriage was not safe enough. Emily then added she wanted to get away and get a complete change of scenery, take EmilyAnn somewhere where the two of them could enjoy the outing together.  Emily thought that having to listen to the small talk of another young mother would take her full attention away from her baby.

Josie thought up a plan that Emily agreed to.  Soon mother and daughter were off and away to their special places waiting to be discovered.  But where you may ask, did Emily get a preoccupation with having a beautiful, and very expensive, imported English Coach baby carriage from?  When looking for a reason, Uncle Sammy and I think we pieced an answer together based on Emily’s interests and the people she followed in the news.  We also learned just how beautiful the English Coach is and can understand why even today it is a prized acquisition and status symbol for the mothers and fathers who can afford to buy one.

Relationship Notes

Emily Leatrice was the daughter of Sam and Josie (nee Muro) Serrapede).  She married Frank J. Terry* at the age of 19 in 1950.  Unlike their contemporaries Frank and Emily did not start their family right away.  They carefully planned and saved their money for the time when their first child came.  Things took a surprise turn when Frank’s parents put the money up to help them purchase a house in Dyker Heights.  Their persuasion got Emily to agree to the purchase even though she and Frank were not completely prepared at any level to take on the responsibility and expenses of running a house on one salary.

Josie Muro Serrapede was Emily’s mother.  Josie’s youngest son, Junior (a/k/a Sammy) was born in 1943.  As a full-time working mother Josie had a lot of responsibilities balancing her job as a sewing machine operator with raising Junior.  In addition, she had another full-time job taking care of a husband who was never satisfied with anything less than a home cooked meal with all ingredients fresh and all dishes made from scratch.  Because of this Josie was never one to dwell on impractical matters or get too preoccupied with what might be or could be.  She was very direct in a diplomatic way, and able to size matters up quickly.  Josie believed in getting along with everyone in the family and most of her approach was part of her belief that one must take the expedient course of action to keep harmony in the family.  This also permitted her the time she needed to fulfill her responsibility of keeping her small apartment neat and smartly decorated.  First generation Italian-Americans like Josie read the condition of a home—whether it was a house or apartment—as an indication of the housewife’s character and the overall state of the family.

Blanche Flashenberg Terry* was Frank’s mother.  She married Al Terry* in the late 1920s against the wishes of her parents.  Al and Blanche expanded his circle of business contacts through heavy socializing and entertaining.  Blanche was known as a good cook and hostess.  She always played it safe and never spoke out on any subject matter that could open a lengthy debate or very deep conversation.  She was very preoccupied with making the right impression and given to worrying about too many things that might never happen.

Family Story:  The Little Baby Buggy

By April of 1954 Emily’s weekday morning routine showed a marked improvement over the previous months.  If EmilyAnn had kept her up too long the night before Frank didn’t wake her up to prepare breakfast when he arose about 6 a.m.  Emily slept on while he got dressed and then headed over to his parent’s house for breakfast.  Then Frank and his father Al headed into Manhattan for their jobs at an importing company.

Emily slept until 7:30 a.m. and then got up to begin the day.  Following Josie’s advice to “Pick up and go out!” when the weather was nice made Emily streamline her morning round of chores.  After doing the breakfast dishes, she made the bed and then took care of EmilyAnn.  After that the baby carriage was made ready.  Since she had a dread of going up and down the basement steps, that were fine until you came to the angled step near the bottom, the carriage was left in the sun porch. The baby carriage went outside first and then Emily and EmilyAnn left the house.  All of this took place around 9:30 a.m. in the morning. 

Instead of going down the block and along 13th Avenue, Emily took the baby carriage up the hill and walked along 12th or 11th Avenue towards Dyker Park, located along 86th Street.  Since this was mid-morning, many of the housewives in the neighborhood were busy cleaning their homes.  Most stores on 13th Avenue did not open until 9 or 10 a.m. so the streets had yet to get busy.  The route Emily took made for a very vigorous walk as the streets are very hilly.  That did not matter to Emily because once she reached 82nd Street, the mini-mansions came into view and she slowed her pace. 

86c-Emily Leatrice 1953-1955-The lifestyle of one real 1950s housewife, Part 3

Series Note

This posting is part 3 of “The Lifestyle of one real 1950s housewife” based on memories and family stories my late Mom and Grandmothers shared with me when I was growing up.  Links to previous postings are:

Introduction

When Emily brought EmilyAnn home from the hospital, she followed a different set of priorities than she had in the past with regards to housekeeping.  The house received a perfunctory cleaning when Emily was up to it.  A cleaning woman came every 10 days to 2 weeks to pick-up where Emily left off in the top cleaning.  Instead of making the house the first priority, Emily made sure that everything pertaining to her baby’s care and that of herself and her husband Frank came first.  Frank shared in the feedings and ran many of the shopping trips and errands on days that Emily was too tired to leave the house. It was the burden of doing daily laundry that convinced him that until the baby was potty trained, he was going to find a way to get the money for a diaper service.

Emily had a blood test in early 1954 that revealed she was suffering from post-partum anemia.  She began to take iron supplements and increased her intake of red meats and fresh vegetables.  This still did not get her out of the slump she’d been in since December 1953.  Being relieved of laundering the diapers had the effect of making Emily feel less stressed. 

Relationship Notes

Emily Leatrice and Frank Jesse Terry* were married in 1950.  Unlike other Post-WWII couples, they waited before beginning a family.  During the first three years of their marriage they lived in a garden apartment near Shore Road in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.  On weekends they enjoyed walking along the shore and the privacy the distance from their families gave them.  In 1953 they moved to a one-family house in the heart of Dyker Heights which put them much closer to their parents. 

The new house was built in the late 1920s when development of Dyker Heights was in full swing.  It was located at the end of a series of row houses that had a community driveway running in the back.  This type of housing was meant to attract middle of the middle-class families into the area.  Frank’s parents considered the house a great buy and were so determined to see their son, his wife and first grandchild live in a more family-centered community with all the conveniences nearby that they became the mortgagees for the house. 

When Frank and Emily shared their memories of life in the garden apartment on Colonial Road, they never mentioned to EmilyAnn having made friends or visiting the neighbors.  They were both working full-time and spent some weekends visiting their parents but most of their time together.  They were still in touch with the many cousins that each had but the general trend was more focused on themselves as a family unit and their immediate families and siblings.  Living in a row house brought Emily into contact with many new people she learned she had to interact with.  This enabled her and Frank to use of the community driveway much better because they had a good idea about the personality of each neighbor.

As a child and all through her adolescence and early adulthood, Emily interacted mostly with a wide circle of immediate family, relatives by marriage, and neighbors who more often than not were paesani of the Serrapede and Muro family who came to America during the time most of the First Generation arrived.  There were no anxieties or worries about who to be close to and who to stay distant from.  Everyone knew everyone else.  In this atmosphere, which retained the bonds and relationships that existed in the ancestral hometown of Agropoli, Emily grew up having great confidence in herself and the world around her. 

Moving into the row house in Dyker Heights put Emily into a completely new environment where she did not have her parents, or even her in-laws to guide her with the information that would put her in the know in terms of who was who on the block.  Being an introvert by nature and preferring to rest and read in her quiet time, Emily did not rush into getting very close or friendly with the neighbors.  In fact, while she was still in the post-partum phase she called the baby blues, she was quite pre-occupied with who she should associate with and how close she should get.  Above all she did not want a gossipy woman to come into the 6-room house and see that there were only three rooms fully furnished and a very sparse nursery for the new baby.

When the neighbors saw the cleaning woman, the grocery delivery boys and now a diaper service come to the house during the weekdays they immediately thought that Frank was a high-ranking corporate executive instead of a supervisor for an importing company.  Emily often had to answer such questions as: 

• Why didn’t the family have a car? 
• Would Emily learn how to drive?
• Did Frank and Emily have cousins who bought a house in Long Island?  And with this question came the announcement about the person’s cousin, godparent or sibling who had already bought a big, beautiful house on the Island and life was just super…

Such were the questions Emily had to field once the weather was nice and she took EmilyAnn out in the carriage. 

Since the neighbors in the row not only watched out for what was going on around the block but could also hear what was going on either through the opened windows or kitchen doors or through the walls, Emily and Frank considered the row houses another presence in their family life that they had to adjust to.  The perceptions of a high income did not match the expression of the lifestyle Emily and Frank were living.  This often perplexed the neighbors but was cause for much laughter once Emily recovered from her post-partum slump.

Blanche and Al Terry were Frank’s parents.

Josie and Sam Serrapede were Emily’s parents.

EmilyAnn is the daughter of Frank and Emily Leatrice.

Sammy (a/k/a Junior) is the younger brother of Emily Leatrice and son of Josie and Sam Serrapede.